Frost (Wordless Wednesday)

I visited my parents a week ago in Meridian, Idaho.  While there, the fog rolled in and the frost piled up.

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Age and Fertility

In a few weeks, Cami will turn two.  My baby is no longer a baby, but a toddler who lives life at full throttle, with a constant sound track of noises and shrieks to go along with her sunny personality.  Like all Bartholomew babies, she's not much into words yet, but communicates just fine without them.

She's a delight and everyone adores her.  I have to laugh when I hear criticisms of large families that insinuate that somehow, the kids must be starving for attention because they have to share their parents.  Just spend a day with us, I think, and notice how large and devoted Cami's fan club is, and that preposterous claim would disappear.

As Cami's birthday approaches, I find myself feeling some sorrow that my baby is not a baby anymore.  Sunrise, sunset, and all of that mushy stuff, of course, but this time, there's also some real heartache and sadness because for the first time, I have a baby turning two and I'm not pregnant.  Actually, I've never had a child be 18 months old before and not been pregnant -- my biggest space between children is 2 years and 4 months between the twins and Eliza. 


My kids are all close in age, and while that can be challenging, I have loved it.  There are wonderful friendships that develop and great fun to be had. It's created a wonderful family dynamic and it's made it possible for me to have a large family and still feel young enough to enjoy them.


The difficult health problems I experienced after Cami's birth mean that she might be our last.  If she is, while I grieve the loss of what might have been (I've felt for years that there was at least one more boy coming), I am grateful that I took full advantage of the time I had to bear children, even though it was shorter than I thought it would be.


Being able to have children is not something I take for granted.  I've had friends and family struggle with infertility, and it's not an easy battle.

In our world of conflicting messages about having it all and "girl power," there's a whole lot of talk about choices and mommy tracks and birth control, but there's not much said about the fact that with all of modern medicine, sometimes the only control we have over birth is when NOT to have a child.  We take for granted that we will be able to have children when we want them.

But the truth is, the window of fertility is small.  I've written about this subject before, but it's been on my mind lately.  Last summer, I read the book Motherhood Rescheduled, about the science and practicalities of the new frontier of egg-freezing and one thing that hit home to me was how in the fertility world, anyone over 30 is starting to be considered old and anyone over 40 is ancient.  Women's bodies were designed for peak fertility in the 20s.  Pregnancy postponed for various reasons -- needing to find a spouse (pretty important one!), wanting to be more established in a career, not feeling ready -- often means fertility problems and sometimes it means being childless, even after interventions and heart-breaking fertility treatments.  The book was pretty optimistic about the options and doors that egg-freezing might open up, even while it was pretty clear that many women who froze their eggs in order to keep their options open were still unable to have the family they desired.

Recently, several experiences have helped me realize how fragile our control over this aspect of our lives really is.  A good friend of mine is in her mid-30s has been trying for over a year to have another baby, and as the months pass, she has yet to realize her desires.  Another friend is now halfway through a pregnancy with twins after struggling with infertility treatments and enduring three devastating miscarriages.

The amazing Michelle writes movingly of her struggle with age-related fertility in her post "should've had another baby."

"I’m writing the truth I wish I’d heard five years ago: you don’t have as much time to have children as you think.

In an age where the tabloids show women in their mid and late forties snuggling newborns, infertility treatments abound and ‘forty is the new thirty’ I think we’ve forgotten the reality of the biological clock.

Here are the cold hard facts: a woman’s fertility peaks in her early twenties, declines in a gentle slope through our twenties with a slightly steeper drop in our thirties. But get ready for the nosedive at forty. The rates drop from 30% at age forty, to 10% at 41, 4% at 42 and 1.6% at 43 (even with every technique known to modern medicine). . .

For two and a half years I fought just to stay above water; adding in a pregnancy and a baby seemed insane. But last winter on my 43^rd birthday we went back to the round of doctors. I knew I wasn’t quite emotionally stable (will I ever be?), but I also sensed I was running out of time. After three sets of doctors (the first two pretty much laughed me out of their office) the test results came back, “I don’t ever want to say there’s no chance,” the doctor began, “and I’d love for you to prove me wrong. But statistically, we’re looking at 0%.” He went on to explain most women my age having babies are using egg donors. “That’s what you’re seeing in the tabloids.” There are the exceptions, and I certainly thought I’d be among them, but the doctor said he sees hundreds and hundreds of women in their early forties who feel sure they too, will be the exception.

I'm 36, which means I'm starting along the downward curve of fertility.  If we decide to have more children, it's likely to take me much longer to get pregnant and my risk of miscarriage is higher.  Of course, I could be an exception.  But most likely, I only have a few more years of pregnancy and child-bearing left.

 
Age-related infertility isn't something you plan for or think about when you're young and 40 seems a long way off.  I had a conversation with a friend back when I was first having children who saw no urgency in having children.  "What's the difference?" she asked, "Five children now or five children later?"  The difference, I think I'd say now, is that the longer you wait, the less likely it will be that you are able to have the number of children you desire.  The difference, I'd say, might be "Five children now or three children later."  Your circumstances may change and your health or age may preclude you from having the family you desire.



Whether I'm able to have more children or whether that chapter of my life is closed, I have no regrets about the way I've spent my life up to this point.  If anything, I am even more grateful for the nine children I've been blessed with and the privilege I've had to be a mother.

(Even posting a photo like this, taken last May, gives my heart a little stab of sadness -- Cami has grown so much since then, and I might never have a baby that little again.)


I'd love to hear your thoughts on this subject, even as I'm still sorting through mine.  What has been your experience with fertility?  If your family is complete, was the size of your family determined by choice or by circumstances?  Have you felt the tug of 'what might have been' or experienced infertility?  Did you have a hard time leaving behind the baby stage?

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Little Girls (Wordless Wednesday)

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LDS Church Instruction to Leaders on Same Sex Marriage

As many of you likely know, a federal judge recently struck down my state's constitutional amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman.  I have many thoughts on the subject and I hope to post some of them later.  In the meantime, I wholeheartedly support this:

Church Instructs Leaders on Same Sex Marriage

On December 20, 2013, a federal district judge in Salt Lake City issued an order legalizing same-sex marriage in Utah, striking down century-old state laws and a state constitutional amendment that defined marriage exclusively as between a man and a woman. The United States Supreme Court has put that ruling on hold pending consideration of the issue by an appellate court. During the interval between the district court ruling and the Supreme Court stay, numerous same-sex marriages were performed in Utah. Legal proceedings and legislative action in some other states and countries have given civil recognition to same-sex marriage relationships.

As we face this and other issues of our time, we encourage all to bear in mind our Heavenly Father’s purposes in creating the earth and providing for our mortal birth and experience here as His children. “God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth” (Genesis 1:27–28). “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Marriage between a man and a woman was instituted by God and is central to His plan for His children and for the well-being of society. Strong families, guided by a loving mother and father, serve as the fundamental institution for nurturing children, instilling faith, and transmitting to future generations the moral strengths and values that are important to civilization and crucial to eternal salvation.

Changes in the civil law do not, indeed cannot, change the moral law that God has established. God expects us to uphold and keep His commandments regardless of divergent opinions or trends in society. His law of chastity is clear: sexual relations are proper only between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully wedded as husband and wife. We urge you to review and teach Church members the doctrine contained in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.”

Just as those who promote same-sex marriage are entitled to civility, the same is true for those who oppose it. The Church insists on its leaders’ and members’ constitutionally protected right to express and advocate religious convictions on marriage, family, and morality free from retaliation or retribution. The Church is also entitled to maintain its standards of moral conduct and good standing for members.

Consistent with our fundamental beliefs, Church officers will not employ their ecclesiastical authority to perform marriages between two people of the same sex, and the Church does not permit its meetinghouses or other properties to be used for ceremonies, receptions, or other activities associated with same-sex marriages. Nevertheless, all visitors are welcome to our chapels and premises so long as they respect our standards of conduct while there.

While these matters will continue to evolve, we affirm that those who avail themselves of laws or court rulings authorizing same-sex marriage should not be treated disrespectfully. The gospel of Jesus Christ teaches us to love and treat all people with kindness and civility—even when we disagree.
As members of the Church, we are responsible to teach the gospel of Jesus Christ and to illuminate the great blessings that flow from heeding God’s commandments as well as the inevitable consequences of ignoring them. We invite you to pray that people everywhere will have their hearts softened to the truths of the gospel, and that wisdom will be granted to those who are called upon to decide issues critical to society’s future.

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Christmas Magic

So, I know I'm a little late to the game, but we had a wonderful Christmas!  We got  back from our Kauai trip on Monday morning the 23rd, but even so, it didn't feel rushed.  We had everything ready before we left except for wrapping, and my daughter Lillian offered to finish that part up for us, which was wonderful. 

DH took the older kids to see The Hobbit on Christmas Eve afternoon with his parents, then we enjoyed our regular Christmas Eve tradition of dinner out to Chinese.  The local family-owned restaurant we go to has come to expect our arrival, and we love the easy clean-up.  We don't often go out to eat as an entire family, so it's a nice treat.


After dinner, we came home for our regular activities.  First up is the acting out of the nativity.  This year, we sang three hymns during it, so Lillian, while unpictured, was an active participant by playing the piano.

As you can see, we take authentic costuming very, very seriously.  ;)

After reading the Christmas story from the Bible, we read the account of what was happening in the American continent at that time.  This led to a short discussion about staying true to your beliefs no matter what the opposition might be.

We always finish up Christmas Eve by opening one present.  Here's Cami with hers.

 

Christmas morning dawned and we loved it.  Christmas with lots of kids is magical.  

Showing off some presents:

Sarah was especially happy with the camera she received.

I love how my kids are so grateful for their secret buddy gifts.  Each draws a name and buys for one sibling.  When the giver of the present is revealed, hugs ensue.  Joey, Sarah, and Lillian also spent money buying everyone in the family a present and not just their secret buddy.

Each kid holding one of their favorite presents:

 

Merry Christmas!

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Relieving Poverty

This morning I read an interesting article about the unintended consequences of anti-poverty programs and how difficult it can be to truly relieve poverty.  The article, called Saving Africa?  New Book Casts Harsh Light on Prominent Poverty Program,  outlines some truly horrific problems with a particular initiative focusing on several villages in Africa.  Things like raising a bumper crop after being given fertilizer and high-yield seeds but then having no way of getting that crop to a market, or artificially supporting one village so well that people give up their nomadic life and settle down, only to have no industry or work in such an isolated area.  Or the chaos and violence that ensues after a community learns to depend on new water wells that then break down for months at a time.  It's eye-opening and makes me want to read the book the article highlights.

A very telling quote from the article is this: 

"In the quest to end poverty it is important to understand that theories that we develop in academic environments can't anticipate the chaos of the real world. In trying to put into practice the theories he outlined in "The End of Poverty," Jeffrey Sachs discovered that human beings are unpredictable and irrational. It turns out that ending poverty is a lot more complicated than some people think."

Another interesting look at the same kind of problems is this podcast from Freakonomics my friend recommended.  It talks about the need for evidence-based poverty problem solving and not just doing what sounds like it should work.

In 2012, I read a book about India called Behind the Beautiful Forevers that followed a family's life in a shantytown near an airport.  What was most discouraging about the book was the corruption of the politicians and the abuse of NGO money going on.  For example, the village school received money but was only held when they were notified there'd be a visitor from the over-seeing program.  Otherwise, the kids were left uneducated and the schoolteacher enriched.  Other schemes abounded, as some few people were enriched by what was intended to lift the poorest out of poverty.
 

In my Church, we do a lot of humanitarian work.  As just a small example among many, my in-laws served an 18-month mission in Russia as humanitarian missionaries from 2002-2003, evaluating and overseeing the aid work going on in Eastern Europe.  They served at their own expense and they found some projects to easily support and others where, like in the article above, there were unintended consequences.  For example, the Church would provide beds or appliances to orphanages and then return later to find these items stored away because they were too nice to use or these items sold on the black market to enrich the orphanage's owners.  There was great need for caution and wisdom in administering the programs and efforts, but even then, the Church was emphasizing specific, reachable goals rather than simply trying a multitude of ideas to see if one would work.

My in-laws in 2002, just after returning from their first mission.  They later served 3 years in Armenia.

This article outlines the humanitarian efforts of my Church well (and if you don't read any other links, please read this one -- it's excellent).  One principle that underlies the gospel of Jesus Christ is self-reliance, with an emphasis on helping people to help themselves.   
I love how my Church works humanitarian aid, with two focuses -- one, on the short-term relief after disasters, and another on long-term initiatives with specific goals, like clean water, providing wheelchairs, immunizations, etc. 

As much as possible, aid is gathered and provided as close to the people as possible, thus cutting down on transportation and overhead costs as well as supporting the local industries and better meeting the nutritional and other needs of the affected populations.  For example, for relief provided after Typhoon Haiyan, the Church used its existing infrastructure and people as much as possible, housing many people in our meetinghouses and working with local members to distribute the aid.  "The Church has a vast, local volunteer force among the members in the region and is not seeking volunteers to travel to the Philippines as part of its relief efforts. In addition, the Church has learned that the most effective way to respond to disasters is to work locally, purchasing needed supplies in country as near to the disaster as possible.  This not only ensures that the goods are appropriate for the area but it helps build up impaired, local economies."  (from this article).  This article follows the director of aid for the Phillipines in the wake of the disaster and is well worth the read.

Our Church also partner with other reputable organizations for joint initiatives often, such as that to eliminate diseases like measles and polio through immunizations.
I find this absolutely remarkable: "While 100 percent of fast offerings and humanitarian donations go directly to those in need, the overhead and administrative costs associated with these programs — in addition to the resources needed to build storage facilities, house and deliver humanitarian aid supplies around the world, train volunteers and so on — are privately fronted by the Church. Today, thanks to a robust infrastructure, the Church continues to relieve the hunger, thirst, suffering and poverty of millions of people around the world and to empower individuals and communities to become more self-sustaining." (from this article)

 
Other organizations do fairly well with keeping overhead costs low as well. For instance, the Red Cross uses just 9% for overhead. (http://money.cnn.com/2013/05/24/pf/donations-charities/)

Others do extremely poorly:
 

Be careful about where you put your aid dollars.  Be wary of giving to organizations who solicit through telemarketing.  Do some research and make sure the money is going to a good cause.

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Kauai

Just before Christmas, my husband and I were blessed to spend a week in Kauai.  It was our first trip with no kids along since back before we had kids, and we really needed the time to reconnect after a tough couple of years.  We had a wonderful time, and I loved having my new camera along to capture the stunning landscapes of the Garden Isle. 

We arrived on the island of Kauai at 6 p.m. local time, Friday the 13th, after a 12+ hour journey.  We flew from SLC to LAX then had a 6 hour flight to Kauai.  We got our rental car and drove five minutes or so to our hotel, Marriott's Kauai Beach Club in Li'hue (which I had been convinced had an exotic pronunciation, but alas, rhymes with phooey).  Our hotel was right along a lovely protected stretch of beach.  We had a great view from our 7th floor room.  Temperatures all week were perfect, with highs around 80 degrees and lows around 60.  Since we'd left behind several weeks with no temperatures above freezing, it was especially nice.

The view from our hotel room:

The icicles we left behind:

 And Salt Lake's inversion as seen from our flight -- that's smog down there, not fog.

Saturday:  Early Start, Helicopter, and Lilified Cliffs

Hawaii is 3 hours later than Utah time, and we'd crashed pretty early (8ish) so I suppose it should have been no surprise when I woke up at my regular exercise time back in Utah, or 3 a.m. local time.  Since I'd gotten enough sleep, I decided to make the best of it and went for a run along the beach by our hotel.  The tides in Hawaii are not as extreme as in California, with the difference in ocean height being only a few feet between them as opposed to ten or more, so running along the beach with shoes didn't really work since there wasn't a good stretch of firm sand near the waves.  In order to run close enough to hit the firm sand, it quickly became apparent I was going to get wet.  No problem there.  I basked in the warm air and moonlight as I ran barefoot through the waves.  It was hard to believe that back home it was below freezing.  The only downside to the beach was its length -- just a quarter mile across, so I had to do laps.  Three miles later, I was ready to go plan the day.

Around 6 a.m., DH and I went for a walk into town near the hotel, window-browsing the few shops and restaurants there, none of which were open yet.  We wanted to make sure we hit our weight limits for our helicopter tour (400 lbs between the two of us, including clothes and camera equipment brought on board) that morning, so we weren't anxious to eat a big breakfast anyway.

After our walk, we got ready for the day, tracked down the helicopter check-in place a few miles away, then went for a drive to see Wailua Falls.  We drove by green rolling farms with savannah-like trees on the way there and enjoyed the view overlooking the falls.  I got a few pictures and then we bought a loaf of mango bread from a local woman selling them from her truck.  She was reading the Bible when we walked over to her (I love the Christian faith so evident in the islands).

At 9:00, we checked in for our 9:45 helicopter flight.  We chose Jack Harter tours, recommended by our "Blue Bible" guidebook, for their doors-off tour.  The helicopter we rode was small, with space for just five people -- the pilot plus four.  DH and I were positioned in the back.  We wore headsets and could push a button to talk to the pilot (DH made small talk with him, I mostly requested for him to move the helicopter around so I could get better photos of things).  I was a bit nervous but mostly excited as the helicopter took off.  With no doors, there wasn't much other than a five-point seatbelt between us and the vastness below us.  It was thrilling, with absolutely stunning views. 

I put my camera's polarizing filter on, which makes a huge difference in saturating colors, especially the sky, and in cutting down glare and reflections, as you can see from the van pictures below.  The first one is with the polarizer, the second without.

Wondering if these tiny toy helicopters are safe . . .

Our hotel is the one with the green roof, in the lower right-hand corner:

We circled the island clockwise, starting across the south end of the island, with jungles mixed with rolling farmland and beautiful cliffs.

We flew around to Waimea Canyon on the western part of the island, where it is drier.  Waimea Canyon is stunning, with beautiful red cliffs and fantastic waterfalls. 

We flew next to sites along the Na Pali coastline on the north end of the island, which can only be reached via helicopter, boat, or via an 11-mile hike.  The cliffs there have been used in many a Hollywood blockbuster and it was amazing to see them from such height.  I kept my camera locked on vista after vista, taking photo after photo, adjusting my settings for the light, and trying to keep my shutter speed fast enough to compensate for the helicopter movement.

Next we flew around to the north end of the island, viewing Taro fields and dozens of waterfalls, stunning cliffs, and then went to the most amazing view of all -- Mount Wai'ale'ale. 

The highest point on the island, it is also the wettest place in the world, with rainfall coming on average some 360 days a year and 460 inches.  The cliffside is massive and steep, with trails of waterfalls flowing down lush green.  We flew in close, though we didn't go up to the top.

The height of these stunning green cliffs was hard to capture.  I brought my 24-70mm lens on my full frame camera, but even 24 wasn't wide enough to get the complete picture.

We finished our 60-minute helicopter tour by viewing more waterfalls and then heading back for the helipad near the airport in Li'hue.  I took over 1500 photos in just an hour and loved every minute.

After our tour, we were ready to try some great local food.  I got teriyaki chicken at the Li'hue BBQ inn, while DH had a stacker -- an enormous burger with bacon, fried onions, and more.  Our meals included a yummy slice of pie for dessert.  After eating, we headed to Costco, where we bought stacks of macadamia nut chocolates, some muffins and fruit, and a few odds and ends.

After a nap at the hotel, we went swimming in the ocean and the pool, then went for an early-afternoon drive to the south coast.  We went for a short hike there along the beach, where white sands have been turned into sandstone.  We watched the sunset on our hike, then went to a shopping center nearby for a famous Puka Dog.  It's been featured on the food channel and in other places as well and many friends urged us to try it.  Basically, it's a polish dog roasted then inserted from the top into a long bun along with mango or pineapple relish and sweet Hawaiian mustard.  It was delicious, as was the Gelato we got from the shop next door.  We walked by the shops there, then headed back.  An awesome first day.

Sunday:  Storm, Church, Exploring the North Coast 

We awoke Sunday to very stormy weather.  The rains were pouring down and the lightning was putting on a show over the dark waves.  We watched it for several hours.  We'd been told that rains came often in December in Kauai, but that they were usually short-lived with only light rain.  That proved true, other than this particular storm, which went on and on.  We ate breakfast in our hotel room while watching it (Costco fruit and muffins).  It started clearing up around 8:15 as we drove to the north shore, planning to go to Church in Hanalei, a 45 minute drive from our hotel.  I regret not bringing my camera along as this was a stunning way to view the north coast.  After the rains, there were huge waterfalls everywhere on the mountains and cliffs, lots of rainbows and just jaw-dropping beauty.  The LDS branch met in a small building there and while I got some cell phone pictures, they really don't do it justice.

The Church meeting was in a small chapel with plenty of tourists, and I guess the power had been out until just before we arrived.  With flash flooding happening, they announced there would only be sacrament meeting held that morning.  We heard from the Stake President, President Gonzales and three of his children -- a 10-year-old boy, a 13-year-old girl, and 16-year-old girl.  Then we helped put away chairs before leaving to explore the north shore of the island.  We got food at a couple of unmemorable, bland places on the north shore and drove to the Lighthouse lookout there before driving back to our hotel for naps. 

In the afternoon, we rented a body board for the week and I enjoyed learning to ride the waves to shore.  The hotel also had a small hula demonstration that we watched at sunset.

For dinner, we went to an amazing fusion Mexican place called Verde's, where we had the best food on the island. 

Monday:  Extreme Hiking, Fine Dining

Monday morning, we went on our first, and most daring, hike of the week.  We drove to the west side of the island, stopping at a couple of viewpoints of Waimea Canyon, then drove to the end of the road, a viewpoint of the Na Pali coastline and the start of the Pihea Trail.

The Pihea Trail goes along the ridge for about a mile, with stunning views of the cliffs and the ocean below, then turns into the jungle and heads up and down several ridges.  The trail was challenging -- wet, muddy and a bit slippery and involved a lot of climbing up steep spots then scrambling down, over slippery rocks and roots. 

Viewpoint as we began our hike:

These little crazy straight-up slippery sections were common:

A little mouse we crossed paths with:

 About a mile and a quarter in, the trail is about 75% covered by a boardwalk covered in chicken wire, which improved our footing considerably.  Somehow, when the guidebook talked about a boardwalk, I got the idea in my head of a pleasant, level walk for the remaining three miles.  What I didn't picture were the constant steps up and down.   

One section of steps lasted for what had to be a dozen flights of stairs.  It was fine going in, but coming back up was a bit challenging. 

After two miles, we turned onto the Alaka'i Swamp trail and followed it two miles up and down a ridge then through a (finally some level spots) long, large, otherworldly swamp.  This, according to one source we read, is the second wettest spot on earth and the highest swampland in the world at 4000 feet.  After Pearl Harbor, a telephone line was placed through the swamp, then down the cliffs on the north side to the town of Hanalei to serve as a back-up communication line for the island and military.  They've since fallen into disrepair and the swamp has taken over. 

At the end of the trail is what our guidebook said is a stunning overlook of the north shore, where you can see Hanalei and the ocean.  If it's clouded over, just wait twenty minutes, it said, and it might clear up.  Or it might not, in our case.  Our view was obstructed by clouds and remained so despite our waiting the recommended time.  So we headed back.  The four-mile hike to the lookout took us about 2.5 hours of steady hiking.  The four miles back took two, as we tried to hurry.  It was definitely a workout -- one website said the trail gained 2000 feet of elevation with its up and down.  DH is of the opinion that we perhaps should have skipped this trail, but I loved the challenge and adventure of it, not to mention the amazing views.  The swamp itself was an interesting, solitary place, with clouds rolling in and out and the vegetation stunted.  It was definitely unique from any other environment we experienced on the island.  Worth the 8 miles?  I think so, mud-covered legs and shoes and all.  We enjoyed the solitude of the hike, as we didn't see another person until we were a mile or two on our way back.

Another precarious section of trail:

After our hike, we pulled into the Ke'e Lodge, the only eatery within 10 miles.  It was good food.  I loved the cornbread, which had a soft texture rather than a crumbly one.  My kalua pork was good, and DH had a club sandwich.  We'd give the place 4 stars.

On our way back to the resort, we stopped at JoJo's in Waimea town for shave ice over macadamia nut ice cream.  We also found the local farmer's market at the KMart parking lot and experienced rambutan for the first time -- a most interesting and delicious fruit that has the texture and taste of white grapes after you peel off its interesting outer layer.

After a nap and a little bit of work (DH), we drove to Poi'pu on the south shore and ate at one of the famous restaurants there, the Beach House.  We had it reserved for 6:00, right after sunset, so after checking in, we sat on the lawn and watched the sun go down over the water.  The setting was gorgeous and our food was excellent too.  I had a watermelon salad, while DH had swordfish.  I saved room for Bananas Foster for dessert, which was was carmelized bananas served over ice cream and macadamia nuts with a caramel sauce.  It was delicious.

The view from the Beach House:

lovely trees at our resort by moonlight:

Tuesday:  Ocean Fun

We were ready for a more relaxed day after our hike on Monday, which left us a bit sore.  We drove ten minutes north of our hotel to Lydgate Beach, where the best beginning snorkeling is to be had.  There are two protected pools of water where fish gather.  We enjoyed seeing the schools, though it wasn't nearly as good as the snorkeling we'd see later in the week. 

After snorkeling, we took our boogie board just south of the snorkeling spot where the waves came in big and consistent.  It was almost too easy to catch them and ride to shore, and it was the best boogie boarding we had all week.  It was a ton of fun to stand out twenty or thirty feet from shore, watch and wait for the perfect wave, then hop on the board and enjoy the ride.

We drove north to check out another beach famed for boogie boarding and surfing, Kealia Beach, but the waves were harder to catch and I ended up mostly swimming while DH caught up on a bit of work (he did an hour or two a day, on average) from the car.

We had lunch at a picnic table near a beach in Kapa'a, buying fries and a yummy gyro from a Greek food truck.  It was delicious.

We then had a quiet afternoon back at our hotel, washing our laundry. and resting by the beach there.  We had dinner by the ocean at sunset, with food from a local take-out called Mark's Place (4 stars).  It was traditional Hawaiian fare -- rice, meat, macaroni salad dinner plate combos.  The teriyaki chicken was yummy.

I went for a mile run along the beach to try to loosen up some of my muscles, then cooled off in the pool for a bit with DH.

Wednesday:  Na Pali Coast hike, lighthouse, more snorkeling

We fit a lot into this day, beginning as it was with a phone call at 4:20 from Allison back at home.  "Hi, Mom, how are you?  Are you having a good trip?"  I guess she wanted to talk to us before she went to school.

We had breakfast at 6 at the Kountry Kitchen, where DH enjoyed coconut french toast with his enormous kalua pork omelette, while I fell in love with macadamia nut pancakes with coconut syrup.  Divine!

A few pictures from our drive north:

By 8:00, we arrived at Ke'e Beach, the trailhead of the Kalalau Trail, which follows the Na Pali Coastline for some 11 miles.  Popular with backpackers, it is the only way to experience the Na Pali coast other than by boat or by air.  Our destination was Hanakapi'ai Beach, two miles in.  It was a beautiful hike, made the more stunning by the morning light and a rainbow that decided to burst upon us.  It was a bit muddy at times, and I fell once.  There was a bit of up and down, but not anything too crazy.

We enjoyed the beach at the end of the trail and took some photos, then headed back. 

We drove next to the Kilauea Lighthouse, where we enjoyed learning about the lighthouse and the wildlife on the island.

We then drove to the Garden Cafe, nestled on a beautiful spot inland a bit.  I had a curry wrap that was simply wonderful.  There were some neat multi-level spiderwebs near another building there that we found interesting.

We went back to the hotel for a nap, then to Walmart to buy me a cheap tripod (forgot to pack mine) and some coconut syrup.  We finished the day with snorkeling at Poipu Beach on the south shore.  I took pictures of sunset there.

Poipu Beach:

We had dinner in Lihue at the Humaru Saimin Stand.  Saimin is a glorified ramen and I thought it tasted like it, though DH liked it a lot.  We also tried a bit of Thai food from a food truck we passed on the way back to the hotel.

Thursday:  South Shore Gardens and Beaches

I woke up early, still enjoying the time difference between Hawaii and back home.  While DH slept, I ran two miles on the beach, then got ready for the day.  While DH got some work done, I drove over to a beach past the airport with my camera and tripod and had a wonderful time getting pictures of the surf and the sunrise.  It was sprinkling when I got there, but dried up enough by the time sunrise happened for me to get a lot of beautiful pictures.  With my tripod, I was able to experiment with long exposure times for the surf, turning the water into silky smooth lines.  I've not done as much landscape photos as portrait, but I feel like I understand how to do them and it felt great to practice.

After the photos, I drove back and DH and I went on a tour at the National Botanical Gardens Allerton Garden tour, which was interesting.  The land used to be owned by the McBryde family and Queen Emma had a cottage there she spent time in often.  In 1938, a wealthy mainlander named Robert Allerton bought the land and developed a series of garden rooms there over time.  When he died, in his 90s, he left the land and some other acreage to the Botanical Garden, with the caveat that they were not allowed to change or trim the gardens.  Replacements for plants that die have to be the same plant, etc.  There were a lot of beautiful plants to see, lots of ginger flowers, a bamboo garden, lovely monkeypod trees for canopy, and some interesting structures and fountains.  We went to the "Victory Garden" where we were allowed to sample what was ripe, which was some surinam cherries.  Very yummy.  

We also went to an interplay of roots of some fig trees, where Jurrassic Park was filmed.  Other films that feature the gardens include Fantasy Island ("The plane!  The plane!"), and Pirates of the Caribbean. 

After the gardens, we visited Spouting Horn, where the surf forces itself up and through a hole in a lava shelf, forcing out a geyser of sorts up to 40 feet into the air.

We had lunch at the Seaiku Snack Shop in Koloa, then rested at worked at the hotel for a bit before heading south to snorkel again, this time at Kiahuna Beach.  The waves were a bit too high to enjoy the snorkeling for long, so we went for a walk near spouting horn, watched the sunset, then headed back to for another Puka Dog and Gelato for dinner.

Friday:  Hiking, Snorkeling, Plantations

Friday morning, we headed to a local Hawaiian place called the Tip Top Cafe for breakfast (banana macadamia nut pancakes with coconut syrup for me, yum!).  Then we stopped for some sunrise pictures.

We then headed to a hike nearby called the Kuilau Ridge Trail at the end of Kuamo'o Road. This road parallels the sacred Wailua River and includes views of 'Opaeka'a Falls and the remains of several ancient Hawaiian heiau, or temple.  The Hindu monastary is also on this road.  The hike followed a ridge of one of the mountains and had fantastic views of green rainforest and canopies quite different from the other two hikes.  It was a 4 mile round trip hike and once again, a bit muddy (December is rainy season in Kauai).  It took us about two hours total.

 

After the hike, we drove to Hee Fat's grocery where DH got more shave ice.  I went to the nearby Buttery Cafe and bought a chocolate banana cake slice.

After resting at the hotel, we drove to the north shore to check out some of the famous snorkeling there.  We'd been told that the winter surf makes the north shore less ideal for snorkeling, but we thought we'd try it out anyway.  We went to Anini Beach, a two mile stretch of sand with a protected, shallow reef.  Conditions were great and we really enjoyed the snorkeling here, swimming up and down to see a variety of colorful, tropical fish.  On the way back, we stopped at the Moloa'a roadside fruit stand where I had the best smoothie of my life.

 

After showering at our hotel, we drove to the Kilohana Plantation, where we got a free train tour of the plantation before eating at the fancy and amazing Gaylord's Restaurant.  The tour was interesting, telling us about the different types of plants and fruits that grow on the island, driving us past some of them, as well as a bit about the sugar plantation era.  Gaylord's gets much of their food from the gardens here.  We got a close-up look at the wild pigs that live on the island, though these domesticated and rather ugly fellows lived at the plantation so the tourists could feed them.  The train stopped and we were given bread to feed to them.  The little ones were cute, the older ones, pretty ugly.  The pigs were originally brought over from the Polynesian settlers, who also brought taro and other food crops with them as well.

The restaurant that night could not have been more wonderful.  Set in the back courtyard of a 1920s restored sugar baron's home, We had a beautiful table overlooking gardens and near a stage where a band played.  The food was perfect.  DH raved about his steak and I had wonderful pork ribs.  We loved it.

Saturday -- Boat Tour, Forbidden Island Snorkeling

We were up early again, this time to meet a 6 a.m. check-in time for a HoloHolo Charter boat tour in 'Ele'ele on the southwest side of the island.  A 65-foot catamaran, this 7-hour tour promised a bit of everything -- whales, dolphins, the Na Pali coastline, and snorkeling off of Ni'ihau Island, also known as the Forbidden Island.  A continental breakfast and a deli lunch were included.  This was a delightful adventure.  The boat wasn't especially crowded and the views, especially of Na Pali, were amazing.  Our captain warned us before we left that we had signed up for an "adventure" and that part of that would be going through heavy waves on the north shore that are common this time of year.  We were welcome to get a refund if we didn't think we could handle the motion.

He was right about the waves -- they were especially high and one crewmember kept lamenting that he had to be working instead of out surfing on such a high surf day.  We enjoyed the motion of climbing up the waves and coming down the other side, and watching them crash into the various shorelines in the distance.  We boated up the west side of the island to see Na Pali, seeing a pod of dolphins within a few minutes of leaving the shore.  After seeing Na Pali, we turned around and headed across a deep channel to Ni'ihau, the Forbidden Island.  One family -- the Robinsons, descendents of Eliza Sinclair, its first owner in 1864 -- own the land and allow only a select few native Hawaiians live there.  Our guidebook says that about 170 residents live there.  There is very little industry there, so many of them are on welfare and food stamps.  Despite a law that says that all beaches belong to the public in Hawai'i, if you try to enjoy the Ni'ihau shore, someone will come and tell you to leave.  If you don't, someone big and intimidating will come to repeat the request.  I asked one of our crew and he confirmed that they will ask you to leave.  

The island itself is 17 miles west of Kauai and very dry (and thus unsuitable for the grazing land Eliza Sinclair originally bought it for).  But the fact that it is so isolated made for wonderful wildlife.  A pod of spinner dolphins decided our boat was a toy and jumped and played off the front bow for over fifteen minutes as we motored around.  We saw a few whales in the distance.  And best of all, we took anchor off the shores on the east end of the island and went snorkeling.  This was the best snorkeling we had -- bigger fish, more variety, and a good mix of deep and shallower spots to explore.  A crew member taught me how to hold my breath and dive down and that was fun, though I had a hard time clearing my ears of the pressure that pushes on them just a few feet into the dive.

After the snorkeling, we were served lunch then motored back over the deep channel (5000 feet, according to a crew member) to harbor.  We then explored the west shore a bit more.  We walked through the small Hanapepe town for a bit, then drove over to Waimea, where I enjoyed a frozen cheesecake dipped in chocolate from the Kauai Granola and Snax shop while DH had a bunch of garlic shrimp from the Shrimp Station, followed by one last shave ice from JoJo's.

We then went back to the hotel, and did a final batch of laundry.  I boogie boarded and then swam out to the middle of our bay with my board to simply float and watch the sunset on our last evening there.  I returned the boogie board to the shop we rented it from for the week, then DH and I went for dinner at Verde's again, splitting our orders of the Ultimate Chicken Burrito and Ultimate Chicken Tacos.  Just as delicious as the first time we tried it and definitely worth a second visit.

Sunday:  Monastary, Church, and Reconnecting with an old friend

When I prayed that we'd be able to have a good Sabbath and feel the spirit of the Sabbath despite being on vacation, I had no idea what Heavenly Father had in store for us.  It was one of our best days on the island.

We woke up at 7 (hooray for sleeping in!), then packed and prepped for check-out.  We had breakfast at the ONO family restaurant in town, where I had banana coconut macadamia nut pancakes with coconut syrup while Aaron had omelets.

We drove to the Hindu monastery on the island next, reading about the gurus who started it and their beliefs.  There was an impressive banyan tree with a statue underneath for worship.  There was also a worship service going on at the temple, and as we watched, the guru there came out chanting and walked around an elephant statue there, leaving offerings.

We left the monastary before noon, and with Church not until 1:00, we drove to an ocean overlook north of Kapa'a, where we walked for a bit along the shoreline trail.  Then we drove to a beach, parked in the shade and took a short nap before heading to Church.

Church was great at the Kapa'a 2nd ward.  The ward Primary president sat behind us and welcomed us, warning us that her grandkids would be sitting with her and might bother us.  We told her we have nine children, so kids aren't a problem.  ;)

Meanwhile, while I was talking to our neighbors, DH was out in the hall trying to find someone he'd recognized when he'd poked his head into the chapel a few moments before.  "Is that Elder Keawe?"  he'd said.  It was, it turned out, though by the time DH got to the hall, he'd disappeared.  By asking a few missionaries nearby, he was able to figure out that Elder Keawe was now Bishop Keawe and was busy in his office doing tithing settlements (In our Church, we have no paid ministry.  Instead, leaders are asked to serve for a period of time in a variety of callings.  A bishop is one of the most involved and involves serving for a period of five to seven years as the leader of a congregation of perhaps 500 people, counseling, asking them to serve in a variety of ways, helping to lead them to Christ.  Tithing settlement is a meeting each family has with the bishop at the end of the year where they declare whether or not they have paid tithing in full that year.  It's also a good chance for the bishop to thank them for the service provided in the ward.).  DH left a note at the bottom of the sign-up sheet, then came back to the chapel for sacrament meeting. 

The meeting was good, with a number of musical selections and duets interspersed with the bishopric sharing their testimonies of Christ.  The stake president, President Gonzales, whose home ward this was, finished the meeting with his own testimony. 

After the meeting, DH got to talk with Keawe about their mission experience in Brazil -- they'd been companions for a month or so, while both were serving as Assistants to the President -- and life since then.  We also found out that the Primary President who'd been so welcoming to us was his mother!  Keawe has four children and has been bishop of the first ward for a year.  He had to go back to tithing settlement, but invited us to his house for dinner that night in Anahola. 

We stayed for remainder of the block (Sunday School and RS/Priesthood), then had an hour before our dinner appointment.  We drove to Anahola Bay to watch the surf and eat pineapple, then found the Keawe house, where we thoroughly enjoyed dinner with the Keawe family.  Their two girls are about ages 10 and 8 and the boys are 5 and 3.  Kahana, Keawe's wife, and I enjoyed visiting.  DH and Keawe enjoyed telling the kids funny mission stories.  It was fun to hear how the couple had met (at the U of Hawaii, she's Hawaiian as well), how they feel about tourists (they don't see much of them because they stay close to home), Keawe's job as a high school teacher, and how the Church is in Kauai.  There are six units -- two wards in Kapa'a, one in Lihue, and one on the western side, plus a branch in Hanalei.  Their meetinghouse had a door that said, "Missionary housing" and Keawe confirmed that one set of missionaries live there, though there are three sets of missionaries serving in that area of the island.  The youth are strong there, making up a very small but popular part of the high school.  They try to do youth trips twice a year to the temple, but it costs $200 a person for the flights so the youth fund-raise for it.

Kahanu and I talked parenting, kids, and goals.  She's got a masters in social work and is working to get a life coaching business off the ground.  She has an interesting philosophy on reaching goals, telling me about her ideas of "align" and ancient Hawaiian navigation.  She says that we Westerners think of going somewhere, but that the ancients would align themselves with the stars for their island and then bring the island to them.  It was an interesting way to look at self-improvement and I liked it.

After a few hours, it was time to leave.  We drove back to Lihue, returned our rental car, and headed home.  Two flights -- the first starting at 10 local time and finishing at 6 a.m. LAX time, then another to SLC, then home to our yabbies and real life.

Goodbye Kaui!

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